into the world of dance. With 3 girls, it will be unavoidable. We have Big E’s first recital tonight. Well, dress rehearsal really. They let us know that we can put them in make up or not- no big deal. I initially thought to myself, ” HA makeup. Dream on” Then Evie came home with Dad asking if she could wear makeup. I guess it’s better me than someone else who will give her the first experience with makeup. I searched online to try and find all natural makeup lines for children’s stage- I mean, it is a whole industry. Everything I found was full of nasty chemicals and the looks required as much of an investment as my personal makeup.
On a personal mommy level, I find so much wrong with putting makeup on little girls for any reason. They are beautiful, and this early intro to makeup seems to suggest otherwise by the very folks who are teaching them confidence. However, as someone who loved the stage I also understand putting on a persona and makeup helps you to alter into someone else.
SO, on goes the makeup for picture day. It was so much fun. When we got to the pictures only 1 other mom in her age group had put on makeup. Several other moms made snarky comments about how they were too young, and they had thought about it too but didn’t have time. I secretly feel the same way, and almost explained myself. I didn’t, because it hurt my feelings a little. Another mom said of Big E’s hair, “oh, look at her hair, it looks so cute. We don’t have time for all that.” A wonderful compliment had we stopped with sentence #1. Clearly, all the moms are in the same area and 2 of us chose to make a different decision for our child. Some of us were better at hair than others (not me- another little girl had a stunning professionally done style). Some moms had done a better job pressing their daughter’s tutu.
So, at the end of the day, all mommies have a different set of strengths and weaknesses. I’d love to promote not making other mommies feel bad about either one. Stop your compliment before it turns nasty because you feel bad about something you might not have done as well. We set the bar for our daughter’s behavior. Let’s celebrate each other’s strength and give grace for our weaknesses.
We also make different choices for our children, and that’s okay too. Let’s not make moms feel bad about their choices, whether you agree with them or not. Once again, our daughters model this behavior and will follow suit. Help them to build a sisterhood instead of a coffee clutch intent on making others feel bad to build themselves the confidence we as moms never gave them.