I like digging holes

My dad once said, “honestly, I cannot wait to retire so I can buy my myself a giant excavator and dump truck. I could dig great holes all day, and fill them back up. I could do that ALL DAY LONG. Nothing better than a well dug hole.”

Context: my dad was a general contractor in the corporate sector. He built a business, lost it all, then built a career again. He was 3 inches shy of 7ft tall. No one messed with Big Barney.

Through all his work, he found the most satisfying part of a job was digging the foundation. It’s what the whole project hinged on. He could handle the complicated jobs, so they always sent him. Most of the time, he insisted on being present and if not doing the digging being there for this most important part. The whole of his work relied on the perfection of this hole.

When I said I wanted to play basketball ( I was terrible), he took me after work to practice with who he thought was the best coach around. To this day, my best coach ever. My dad took me to every practice & every game for that first season and stayed, making sure I was learning the right things. I had to walk all around the neighborhood carrying that dumb ball. Dribbling it, carrying it, trying not to get it knocked out of my hands by a sneak attack. Why? Because it’s the foundation of the skillset. It’s the base you work from, where our kids confidence stems and grow.

Make sure you dig a good hole today.

Me, Myself, and I

Yeah, as I mentioned. It’s been about a week since I checked in.  Possibly 2. Why?  I rediscovered the “me before kids” with a week alone in NYC.  My husband so thoughtfully had a MAJOR win in this year.  He thought, “where did Lindsey feel most boss lady?  NYC. I’m a gonna send her there. I got this.”  This is why having a life partner who is a PARTNER is so important.  He gets me. He sacrifices for me as much as I sacrifice for him. More on that another time, but I am so thrifty with praise (my midwestern upbringing) I have to throw some out there onto the interwebs for him.  Joshua. He’s amazing.

This is the most important trip I have ever taken. I didn’t think it would be. I thought it would just be awesome.  I remembered me. I remembered what it was like to feel re-charged, think only of myself. Have time to reflect on what is important to me. Re-connect with friends.  As an entrepreneur I am often my only cheerleader.  As a mom, I get hugs and kisses, but they are paid for in full with butt wipes & everday servitude. At least that’s what it feels like…. to spend time alone was a reminder of all the things I have to be thankful about, and while I may have given up many wonderful things by having a family- I have received much in return.  It’s just different stuff (all that “much”) that I’ve received.

Upon my return home, a DarrenDaily popped up in my inbox.  It was about not missing the point. All too often we focus on growth, challenge, money, things, achievement, and miss the point of why we are here.  Here in this life, on this journey & path. More on my trip in the future- but man. Here’s my point today.

As a mom, when I’m in the thick of it- I feel as though I am a shell of my former self. The chaos of my kids can sometimes leave me empty.  My little vampires often overlook  my emotional need to fill me up with hugs and kisses, especially when they are full of their own emotions & their cup runneth over so to speak.   It is so important to pay homage to who you were and sometimes re-connect yourself to all you still have left of YOU.  How much you’ve grown, and think about where you’d like to head next. Whether it’s an hour away.  A night to yourself.  Meditation. Exercise.  We all need to find our happy place and spend a little time there so we can be our best selves.  Not for our kids, but so we can stay on the course in this marathon.  We can not do it all. We don’t have to. Take 20 minutes to go and breathe. Your kid can eat mac n cheese from a box today & leave that floor unswept- there’s going to be mac n cheese on it in 20 minutes anyways.

She finally figured it out.

“Mom, come here. Mom.”

Me walking into bathroom.

My 4 year old, “do you smell it? My poop. CAN YOU SMELL IT?”

“yes. I smell it.” She asks me to do this every time she goes potty. She’s curious to see if it smells the same to both of us & also so I can wipe her butt…because that’s gross.

Today she has more to add. “I know what it smells like now.”

“Oh yeah?”

“The sheep. My poop smells like the sheep.”

It doesn’t. It smells like the pigs, but I really dont want to go down that rabbit hole of a conversation.

Just dont…ask me THAT question.

My biggest pet peeve in a professional, personal, and adult capacity that people have been TRAINED to ask: would you be bringing the decision maker with you, or who should I contact?

ME. I asked the question. IM AN ADULT. I am in charge.

No one ever asks my husband, because it is incredibly insulting. If you own a company, assume the person in front of you is the decision maker until they tell you otherwise. It’s called respect and fantastic customer service. Anything else, is well, bullshit.

#makeitbetter #forwardthinking #futureisfemale

Back to our roots

We so country, my grand aunt used my Lee press on nails as a banjo pick. She said they were better for picking than the ones made for it. Specifically, the thumb nail. We went to a local bluegrass festival today, and it just felt like home. So much so that little nug had to pee as soon as we arrived, even though we literally just stopped before we hit the park to avoid park bathrooms. Never works. I tried holding her over the toilet. She peed all over me. Crying, we washed up as best you can in a nasty metal sink. It’s just like peeing behind a tree!!   Got some chips at the food truck and settled in to have the sound of a mandolin & gnats carry us away. For the kids, a cultural experience- for me and all the other old folks- a taste of what home feels like.

When you think it’s all changed…

My partner commented yesterday how he felt the kids had, “really turned a corner” with their dramatic tantrum behavior. Like they’d outgrown mischievousness and big feelings. Directly after this pic someone got booted into this kiddie pool. I didnt do it, so I guess we turned that proverbial corner into a circle.

The lean over

#momfail

Ever had that moment where someone else catches you, keeps you from burning down the house as you try to over achieve…or just get by? I’d like to thank my partner for saving me another major #momfail. I tried to fit one last batch of veggie chips in….and fell asleep. Having a person, whether a friend, life partner (my name for husband, wife), is so #Worthit. Not partnering up is a totally okay thing, but no man is an island. We all need our people. Face the awkward moment of figuring out the adult version of, “wanna play?” And gather your village. It could save your house from destruction….

Pickle Ball is my new fave

I kind of gave it away right?  What this whole thing is about, but not really.  So, initially I got interested in pickleball when showed up as an applicant to Pitch at one of Vesuvius Co-working’s pitch night.  These people were SO passionate about pickleball, it was like encountering a new version of Star Wars nerd- so basically over the TOP.  Madison County Pickleball started offering free pickleball at a nearby church, and so I went. Then I really wanted to go back.  I took my mom. My mom got her own racquet & took over my Tuesday night.  I mean, we work together, live near each other- I #ijustcant hang out with her anymore and keep my sanity.

I’m pretty tall, so I look intimidating & most bet at some point in my life I’ve been an athlete, maybe some kind of pro basketball player who may have been famous in Europe.  It always surprises everyone when I’m barely mediocre at any given sport.  So I asked the league if there’s any other time I can play.  They said, “Well you can show up Thursday, that’s the intermediate 3.0 & above play.  You can try it out, see how it goes”  I took that as permission, kind of to give it a go.  Unfortunately, they gave me that permission like 3 months ago & I haven’t played pickleball since because well, life happens.  So I decided last week after someone mentioned it to me again at another event that I would just SHOW UP.  I got there, and the first 4 games got SPANKED. People started asking how long I’d played, when I moved up.  I was certain the gig was up, although I also know they were really just being curious & polite by asking me questions.  Funny how your brain plays tricks on you, because I was pretty sure no one really wanted to be my partner when my turn came. I thought maybe I’d be asked to not come back.  This of course is all in my own head.

So I did it again anyways.  Last night, I SHOWED UP.  I was so much better.  This time no one questioned my presence.  I didn’t ask permission.  I SHOWED UP.  Granted, the pickleball community is one of the best.  They love new people, they are encouraging, and they care enough to throw out invites over & over.  I appreciate that, but I still have that internal struggle I believe we all deal with. It’s some pretty intimidating stuff to overcome in my own head, but I highly recommend it.  It’s opened a new world. Those doubts: Am I good enough? Will they turn me down?  Will they reject me?

Who really knows?  They might.  But I’ve found over & over when I have the courage to just show up, very rarely do people say no.  Even if they do- and you show up again, or maintain your position- people respect perseverance.

Also, love you pickleballers- you’re fantastic. I appreciate you & your passion for the game. I’m leaving now to go get my own paddle, because I’m totally geeking out over it.

I see you pickleball, and I’m in LOVE.

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Follow your instincts,

But dont eat your kids. You KNOW that’s not what I mean. I just gave a presentation that was backed by tons of data. I felt like I needed to draw a really long line from point a to b, show them the WHOLE map of the 2,000 mile journey instead the straight line. While the journey IS important, it ended up being distracting to my end goal. I KNEW THIS, but continued to try and show how hard it was to get there. Establish my expertise. Show that I did the work.

I know how to tell a story. I tried to prove myself worthy as so many others do, instead of following my gut. Poor form. Simple is hard, and I know how to make it simple…so needed to go with it. Hindsight always tells me I was correct, so it’s time to go with my gut. Moving on, that time I did want to eat my kids, I didnt. My guy said I was full, and clearly spot on as it is definitely wrong to eat your young.