Things that go BUMP

I heard the clink of glass in the kitchen while I was folding laundry. Ignored. Heard it again. Went to investigate. Found this:

When asked what in the world is going on? Crafting, for daddy’s birthday.

I have never crafted in my life.

#craftlife #momsohard

P.s. yes, it IS a pound of bacon by the milk. These kids dream big.

The ad all mom’s want answered

WANTED: Someone who loves an orderly house, and believes cleanliness is next to godliness. You will be required to do laundry, not forgetting to pre-rinse all speed, pooped &vomited upon items. Clean all surfaces and keep all items in their place so our cluttered house looks like a minimalist modern masterpiece. Cook whole 30 compliant meals that taste like they are not at all compliant. Wake up between midnight and 1am & carry my slumbering 3 & 5 yr old to toilet so they don’t wet the bed.

References required, interviews next week. Please submit CV to

Salary: non-negotiable. Unpaid in cash, but I’ll be your best friend forever.

Pictured:my laundry pile after 2 straight, uninterrupted hours of folding with two more loads in the dryer. #thestruggleisreal #momsohard #laundrypile


I wouldn’t let Mira pour her own granola on her yogurt. I mean, she’s 1.5. So in her rage she picked up her bowl and shot put it across the room, where it landed face down. I looked at her with a stone cold gaze, and she snarled at me and stared back in defiance. I would have taken a pic, but currently #ijustcant

She is her mother’s daughter.

My heart sank.

My oldest has been learning about presidents at school. She announced after school today that her all time favorite president was…. “Donald Trump”.

My heart sank. She’d picked up some uber conservative rhetoric at school. She doesn’t understand we believe in humility. Servant leadership. I’ve failed as a parent. I asked her why, to try and gauge what research articles I needed to pull. Her reply. “His name. He has different words that make up his name. Donald. Don and old. Trunk. It’s both a part of an elephant, which I love, and also a box you put things in. So many different words.”

I love this kid. She doesn’t even know his real name. We’re safe from reality.

Mind over matter

My eldest switched to being a picky eater, preferring sugar to most other food groups, after an excellent start of eating everything under the sun. She closed her mind to the miracle of food variety around 2 years of age.

We always try to put one thing on her plate we KNOW she will eat so she doesn’t get hangry before bed. Tonight I thought, “enough is enough. I KNOW she will like the minced chicken if she just tries it.” So I declared, “treats for anyone who eats everything on their plate.” The littles licked their plates clean and were savoring a delicious chocolate bar as my first born was almost moved to tears at the mountain before her. I caved to let her have ONE BITE of chicken and dessert would be hers. ONE BITE.

She took a bite, tears started streaming down her face. She turned red as she swallowed. Then that little nugget BARFED all over the dinner table. Looked at me with sad eyes and said, “now can I have a treat since I ate a bit of everything?”

Oh. The humanity.

We all make choices

Tink is not having it this morning. The choices in life can sometimes be overwhelming, so take a deep breath and say a prayer. Everything is going to be alright little ones. That is as soon as you finish cleaning that blueberry you smashed into the carpet when you were overcome by choices…

#ijustcant #envirocloth #norwex

My cereal talks.

My oldest, almost 6 years old, just lost her mind because the “crack” in her Aldi’s rice cereal wasn’t loud enough.

We’re talking screams. The snap and pop were apparently sufficient. In an effort to derail this temper train, I asked her how maybe we could change this situation. She told me in a very loud voice , “maybe you can write them a letter. I don’t think they would take me seriously.” Not sure if She is aware of the absurdity of the request, or if its about the status of her age.

I’m off to write a product improvement request to Aldi at the behest of a 6 year old. My advice on “changing this situation” was to count to 10 and take a deep breath.

As a mom, as a human.

I don’t normally hit hot button political issues. However, as a mom I am struck today by our new normal. I’M NOT DOWN WITH THIS FUTURE. As a human, if gun violence in schools is the new normal- I’d like us all strive to be unique. Weird, if you will. I’d like us to feel free to be radical instead of right or left leaning. Free to help mothers mourn and not let their grief be in vain.

I cannot, will not, imagine what it is like to loose a loved one to violence. All I can say to those of you who found out today, in Parkland,you are loved by mommas everywhere. We are so selfishly thankful not to be you in this moment. So thankful, I will shed my hesitancy to speak up. I willdo my part to stand and request my elected official do their part to get some control of this issue. The type of control that money can’t buy, but the wailing voices of families everywhere call out for change. Let us be heard. I pray for ears to open to hear, and hearts to move away from pressure and leave the promise of money or withdrawal of funds from your campaign, to have courage to stand and do what is cried for day and night.

I was brought up in a very staunch 2nd amendment supporting household. I believe in the right to bear arms. I have a LIFETIME concealed weapons permit I find the lack of expiration to be ridiculous, what if I live to be 500? You dont want to earn another fee from me, or take my picture as I age beautifully? Let this sink in. We NEED gun safety, education, classes, and stricter licensing required. Also, consequences for those who can’t follow regulations. It’s called licensing. We do it for realtors to sell a house, accountants to do your taxes, for EVERYONE to drive a car. We must do the same to wield an object whose sole purpose is to wound, maim, and kill.

Guys, it doesn’t matter your political affiliation, it’s common sensical. However, feel free to call me weird, and do your normal thing of counting the bodies of children. I refuse to settle for this status quo. Get weird America.