I asked Evie not to

Yell at Daddy when he’s driving.

She paused & looked at me and then screeched in one run-on phrase, “I’m not yelling at daddy, im yelling at you!”

“Get me my water.”

I stare straight ahead, trying not to laugh as a I contemplate my next move in this never ending game of chess.

Late one Sunday a confession came about…

Jacob hits me.

“why does he hit you?  did you hit him back?” (this may be incorrect, but how i was raised to stand up for myself)

I like him.

“Oh yeah?  Is he your friend?”

Yes, I miss him.  Do I get to go to school tomorrow?  I want to see Jacob.

I silently worry about my people pleasing daughter & what will become of her in her teenge years.  I’m hoping her tenacious & stubborn streak will serve her well in these areas, in a GOOD way.  These worries start at such a young age.   These little kids are little people.   IT’S SO SCARY.

Are you a bad parent?

According to my fitbit, I was restless 20 times & awake for 20 minutes 3 times last night to set the stage of my mindset.  This morning as E chattered on & on asking the same question multiple times I told her snarkily to, “stop asking me stupid questions & go get your shoes.”

Ever have that moment when you snap & a milisecond later see the shards of yourself sprinkled on the floor? Millions of little mirrors reflecting what a terrible mother you are? It’s a little soul twisting. Then you get a hug from your surprisingly resilient monster, & know you just revealed your worst self to a sponge?

I cried tears of regret all the way to daycare as I reassured my child that I love her & all questions are A-OK. Every day & every moment is a gift. I forget sometimes & my cruelty reminds me of this frailty.

Do you ever worry?

That your child will be egged on by herd mentality? E is a likable sweet child, kids like her. Yet she IS a people pleaser.  As i heard little voices screaming, “evie, evie,evie” as she walked into daycare, i thought about how those voices might influence her later in life. I worried she may cave to the urge to be cruel to others to build herself up.

She is scathing as a 3 year old, & terrifies me when she says, “i don’t want you, get outta here”. She for serious can hurt my feelings.

Im really hoping she grows up with empathy and the strength to include others regardless of what others think. You are my reflection, I hope your mirror shows you love.

Im so ready

For E to stop chattering.  Its been a long 17 hours, & I can’t even comprehend why she’s not asleep. I love her, & she’s pretty fun.

However, if she tells me one more time that the elsa song is hers and mommy doesn’t have a song I’m going to lose my mind….I have a song, applebottom jeans, boots with the fur baby!

I dropped off

Big E at daycare, then her little sis. As I walked back down the hallway & peeked in it was like watching an eco system come to life.

A call rang out, “Breakfast is here!”

The air froze & little heads started popping up like prairie dogs. My little prairie dog had already changed into a princess dress with high heels & was hiding the other set of princess gear in bricks so no one else could find it.  I had been gone maybe 3.5 minutes. They all literally scampered over play areas to the food. Scavengers.

I laughed all the way out. Kids are the best.

I just read

A bio about a woman who is highly successful. She described herself as “a hot mess” like it was something she was proud of, but was really trying to be humble & likable. I’m assuming this was recommended a publicist.

Ladies, can we own our success & stop disliking or talking poorly about those who do? I am pretty sure this lady is no hot mess. So just stand up & write your bio to say, “she’s a kick ass, take names operator, who is at the top of her game.  She likes bikes & makes no bones about her love of calculus.”  Own it. No apologies.

Do you ever get jealous of Jessica Alba?

I certainly do.  I think, why do you have to be beautiful AND have invested your name brand into a super smart and amazing company idea?  YOU ALREADY HAVE A GREAT CAREER.  Why do you get 2? I mean, you’re great, but come on. #letsbehonest

Honest Co is launching a make up/skincare line & sent me $20.00 in an email to try it out.  I’ll probably do it, so kudos to the marketing team on this coup.  I stopped buying honest after a few months because I figured they didn’t need my money anymore.  Plus, not a big fan of the cleaning products- I like vinegar with baking soda better.

It’s petty of me….but I’m human.  here’s a magical thought that would keep me from being jealous because you’re so nice-  please send me a diaper bagI love them.