Author: steelemommy

With my 3 yr old is that 6 comes after 5. She is fairly certain 4 comes before & after 5. It gets quite heated.  In fact, we’ve almost come to blows. She will be so embarrassed when she turns 6. 

That my child WILL pee her pants today., and wanted to double check that I packed extra underwear.

is my new favorite line of discipline.   After a trip to the heartland & a pony ride experience, like all little girls, Big E fell in love with horses.  She also fell in love with the word, “no” & the phrase, “you get outta here”.   I’ve stumbled upon pure parenting GOLD since this pony ride.

If you think your child isn’t “listening” or didn’t understand, find something they want.  REALLY BAD.  Nothing had previously worked to take away something from Big E.  She always says, “I don’t care” or “I need a time out.”

HOWEVER, the promise of a pony & potentially taking it away has all the power of Grayskull. (He-Man reference for you non- 80s mommies)

I think I can milk it for 3 more years, about the time when it’s suitable to actually be able to have pony.  Here’s an example of how this works:

Me: Did you hear me?  I SAID, get up & put your shoes on, it’s time for school. We’re going to be late.

Big E: MOMMA CALLED THE DR. AND THE DR. SAID….NO MORE MONKEYS JUMPING ON THE BED.

Me: E, I asked you to please go & get your shoes.  If you want a pony you need to be a good listener.  Only good listeners who can follow instructions are responsible enough to have a pony.  What did I just ask you?

Big E: Please for me to go & get my shoes.  I getting them.  I put them on. We go school now, not be late.

Problem solved…until she’s 6 & mommy wants a pony too.  We’ll cross that bridge later.

Rules are for suckers.

This is how I believe Evie currently views guidelines, rules, and boundaries.  Mere suggestions.

I have no idea, science is dumbfounded.  Possibly because there is not a test for “awesome ” with clear measurements.

If i solve the mystery, i swear I’ll share.

Of Big E’s little feet running back in to the bedroom before I heard the little chant under her breath that didn’t come out louder because she was running so hard she was out of breath, “mommy, big spider, mommy big spider”

Evie’s no fraidy cat, so I know it must be a REALLY big, hairy spider. It may even have 12 legs.

She won’t go to the potty now or get out of bed to help mommy by getting my phone so I can text Daddy to come & kill it. Mommy is NOT going to put her feet on the floor till morning.

I’m a bigger chicken than a 3 year old.

It doesn’t do a lot for my self confidence in this moment.

Little L turns to me with disbelief in her eyes as I pass her over into another’s arms for the day. Then her little rosebud mouth disappers as she sucks in air, letting the lower lip fall & tremble. She then squeals the sound of heartbreak. These little animals are totally survivors, this built in ability to play on your heartstrings has such sophistication.  I mean, who knew babies could communicate disbelief?

Who when i asked,  “how old is he?” She looked nervous as though i had just loaded a gun. She replied, “he’s 6 monthes. He’s very small for his age.” As though she was apologizing her baby wasn’t a beefcake & i would definitely pass judgment.  I replied, “small? Im awfully big for my age, & that’s okay too. He looks healthy to me.”

She smiled sheepishly.  “Everyone always comments, so i guess i just try to beat’em to it. He was 2 months premature & is catching up. It makes me feel bad.”

Looks like our comments seem like judgements. Watch your words to children & their parents peanut gallery, you matter!

When your baby moves mostly to solids, lets say around 7.5 monthes… they poo about 4-5 times a day? Gross adult poos.

I certainly don’t remember this from round one. I feel betrayed once again by the memories of motherhood.

Its been almost 17 months since we last dined together. I missed your tart taste & refreshing zing. 

I blame my children for our long separation.