According to my fitbit, I was restless 20 times & awake for 20 minutes 3 times last night to set the stage of my mindset. This morning as E chattered on & on asking the same question multiple times I told her snarkily to, “stop asking me stupid questions & go get your shoes.”
Ever have that moment when you snap & a milisecond later see the shards of yourself sprinkled on the floor? Millions of little mirrors reflecting what a terrible mother you are? It’s a little soul twisting. Then you get a hug from your surprisingly resilient monster, & know you just revealed your worst self to a sponge?
I cried tears of regret all the way to daycare as I reassured my child that I love her & all questions are A-OK. Every day & every moment is a gift. I forget sometimes & my cruelty reminds me of this frailty.