Do something great to change the world.
Yes, im a psycho mom.
The world needs a generation of great leaders. Maybe if we all whisper it, we’ll luck out & get an even dozen.
Secretly, i hope she discovers the secret to alchemy so she can pay for her own college & graduate debt free…now that really WOULD be something great.
I’ve caved not for toys, but fashion. In my eyes this is 10 times worse in terms of being smart with money & space.
But it brings me joy! (Thank you marie kondo for helping me understand how i can justify wasting my hard earned dunkets).
Marimekko brings me joy when i walk into their store, especially when there’s a sale. My motto, “never
pay full price…for ANYTHING, EVER.” Jennifer in the flatiron store knows her business. She brought me joy too with her service, so i guess its a double win. I bought 2 print clashing, color matching dresses for my little dinosaurs…i cant wait to watch them open these packages. It wasn’t even a gift, but Jennifer convinced me it should be. You had me at, “the foccacia at eataly is smazing”. Off topic, yes. But it showed me she has priorties, hence the willingness to wait while she wrapped. Of course, now i can coach good behavior for at least a week with this “surprise.” Poor parenting, or genius?
Ever been yelled at incoherently, but still know exactly what they meant? The recipient of this toddler’s simply worded scorn & serious shade on the subway knew he really said, “if these straps weren’t holding me back I’d gnaw your face off. It would embarass the h**l out of you to be accosted by a child. You deserve it…for bumping my stroller & not smiling at me”
Everyone else understood too.
Kids are so black & white about things, right?
I hate the word “wean”. Its the same way I feel about the word “moist”.
Last night I woke up at 2am in a wet bed. Couldnt place how this happened. No baby in the bed, check. No toddler in bed, check. Didn’t fall asleep again with full glass in hand, check. Is hubby sweating? Nope.
Did i wet the bed? How awkward. Realized that my boobs were leaking. Wet the WHOLE bed in a giant circle.
So this is why they recommend pads in your bra. My first leak, as I’m on my way out the baby feeding door & laundry is still 4 flights down 2 blocks away. I’ll pull a daddy trick & just lay a towel over it & pretend it’s not there. Isn’t motherhood hard enough already?
PS bambooies, the ultra cool breast feeding pads are uber expensive. I used these instead for non disposable & avent or nuk for work disposables. Although I realize the cloth is so much healthier, no chemicals brushing on the nips-sometimes i just couldn’t do laundry!
you think your kids are really cute. You look around at other kids & think, yeah- they’re cute, kind of…my kids are so much cuter.
Everyone thinks this. It’s okay, I think your kids aren’t as cute as mine either.
I will admit on some days though, I think my kids are ugly in spirit. Then they get over THAT hump, & I’m back to thinking they’re WAY cuter than yours.
Pull out snacks on the playground & they come creeping up like scavengers, with their soulful eyes that make you say “aw, so cute! I’ll just give them one”. Big mistake.
They’ll stay & keep talking nonsense to you just out of reach hoping to snag the whole bag & run. Just like gulls at the beach, there’s no escaping once you feed them. Then you have to dodge the death stares of the tiger/helicopter moms, because you fed their little Peregrine before meal time. I mean, at least it was organic.
Even my own monkeys join in the hunt, & they’re angels….
Bedtime is at 8pm. 4 trips to bathroom. 1 pj change. 2 stories. A cry for her newest obsession “blinky” (a square piece of fuzzy fabric). A request for water. Another request for water, because previous water is now ‘old’. 2 angry exchanges with daddy. Then a pleading reply to let him know there’s room for daddy in her bed. Singing to self.
Escape to mommy’s bed….trip back to her bed with this final bedtime convo at 10pm.
“To bed, close your eyes. No more bathroom, no more water. If you don’t listen, you’re going to be in trouble,” idle threats by me.
“Rar! I’m not going to call you mommy anymore, you mean” she bellows.
“Well, then when you cry for mommy the next time because you’re scared or hurt I won’t come to you” declares me nastily, like the troll she imagines me to be.
“Why?”
“Because if you say I’m not mommy I can’t act like mommy.”
“Mommy! I love you” Says the savvy stinker quite sweetly.
I have won the battle, not the war.
P.S. We struggled for the longest time getting her to sleep in her own bed. Don’t let them break you steele mommies, hold out for 1 week & you’ll get the best sleep of your life by night #8…because you’ll never have been so tired in your life. What’s your best tip?
“I a go a up a here, be this big cat. Do something, do something. Take my pictures”
Overheard as e climbed the hill. Not sure if all of this was for me, or if verbatim exactly what she said.
I grew up not understanding differences between people. We’re all the same, we’re all equal. Until of course, the world shows us differently.
As I navigated my life, I came to understand most adults didnt share my simplistic view. Not everyone has the same advantages, because humans like to put everything into classes from species to skin color to socioeconomic classes & then judge them to be better than or less than. As though we have that right.
Let’s teach our kids that differences are to be celebrated. Its what makes us each special. Let #lovewin. No judgements, just life & love. Love makes the life worth it.
SCOTUS got it right today, simply let love rule.
Remember mcgruff the crime dog from the late 80s? He’s got nothing on Evie. She was just taking a sip, with her jaws of life, & this happened.
steelemommy 