So I’m overwhelmed with life.  I post a lot about this on my facebook & instagram page.  My friends said- you should blog it, we love it!  I was a little surprised, because I’ve always had a crass sense of humor & was recording these as an outlet for myself.  SO- I’m moving my facebook posts here and am going to stop  trying to be what I’m not.  Let’s get real, I don’t have time to melt crayons into hearts, or tell you about my latest steal.  I also cannot keep up with lots of information.  So while I navigate life, let me share a little with you.

Instead, I’ll share my fails & features of the day.  A lot involve my oldest’s “I JUST CAN’T”  moments in photo array.

Some involve the shit I have to clean up & the thoughts I have that sometimes I can’t believe I think….at the end of the day I’ve discovered through being a cra-cray Midwestern gal letting loose in the city & a mom just trying to make it work…don’t judge, you’re the next person who’s going to get shit on.   For responsible wiping, try these…I wash them when it’s a pee so I can reuse.

your next big diaper blowout....she got to sit there through my conference call.  no judgments.
your next big diaper blowout….she got to sit there through my conference call. no judgments.

I’m hoping she’ll be out of diapers by that time…

I was talking to my friend today about testing for pre-schools and when that happens, in New York they start testing at 2.  I know, it’s a little ridiculous. She went on to mention that our daughters will turn 6 in kindergarten & be on the older side.  I replied, “I really hope she’s potty trained by then”.   As a winner takes all competitor personally, my daughter is not following in my footsteps when it comes to the race to her hygiene habits.  I started the journey at about 1.5 year- I totally thought she was ready.  I took time off work in preparation to spend 3 whole days breaking her to the potty.  I lasted about 3 hours & 5 accidents before I decided she just wasn’t old enough.  I read a lot of articles, and they say it shouldn’t be too hard when the child is ready.  The author probably had no kids and trained other children in a lab instead of a home.  Because they should have corrected it to say, “when mommy is ready to have her floors peed on, her lap peed on, and her furniture wiped with poo butts”.  I’ve decided the best way to snap baby girl out of her delight with “no, I pee in my diaper, not the potty” is to wait for her to realize she’s the only one left…As it is in dance class she’s the only ballerina wearing a diaper.  Sad to say she also looks the oldest, sooooo there’s a perception issue with the other parents. Am I lazy?  No.  I’m efficient with my time, therefore I will wait for other kids to shame her into using the potty, or I could say I’m listening to the experts & she’ll let me know when she’s ready. Bottom line, kids grow up so fast anyhow- why not let them set their own timeline for this one act? Because baby girl- you’re going to med school whether you like it or not!

Given our space restrictions we can only have the necessities- here are my tools of the potty training trade:

Bjorn potty chair, stool to reach the sink (Kikkerland Rhino step stool), & spray to rid the stink honest company air freshener

Oh yes, & our little monster can’t relax without her favorite book.   Make sure you have a “bathroom books” shelf, you really don’t want these to make it out to the rest of the stack!  We use an ikea spice rack to keep them off the floor & near the potty.